Have you ever met a not-cute golden retriever? There's a reason they are America's favorite dogs.
They cause me pain. Especially Finn. His jolly clumsiness that manifests in him flopping into my lap - ears first; then resting his head on my hand as I try and type on my laptop...arresting me from obligations and begging me to pet him from head to tail.
I imagine opening his mouth, staring into his trusting eyes, and starting to pluck each individual perfect canine tooth from his gums. I imagine his innocence start to pierce my ears as he shrieks in pain, but doesn't pull away - because he trusts that I'm doing this for his own good.